the countdown

I often mock things because I lack the emotional capacity to understand why people act the way they do, or do the things they do.

So, you can imagine with all my joy and abundance of sunshine mentality, that I’ve spent time making fun of people who write their own vows. (Really, some people need to put a cork on the sappiness. The sun does not rise and shine in your lover’s eyes.)

Lo and behold, Robert and I have written our own vows in addition to the traditional vows. I’m not even sure we can call them vows because from what I know of his and what I’ve written of mine…we aren’t really vowing or promising anything but just sharing with each other, “Hey, you’re cool and I guess we could spend this life-process thing together.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll probably still want to laugh at other wedding ceremonies where the attendees are forced to witness the public displays of love in the form of the written word by people who don’t write outside of a text message.

(I didn’t say this would make me grow into a better person)

Also, I have made fun of girls who cry at the drop of a hat at their impending nuptials. “I’m sorry- did you not have at least a few months to prepare for this? People do this every day all over the world. Get it together.”

Today is Monday, October 14, six days before I walk down the aisle to become a Mrs. Today, by 8:30 am, I cried twice because I started feeling the reality of what a Big Deal marriage is even though I’ve been dating this guy for eight years and I’ve had a year and a half to prepare for this event.  I cried because it was really just STUPID for me to plan a whole event where the attention is on me and Robert for the entire day…and we don’t even like attention! Where was my common sense to tell me, “DO A CIVIL CEREMONY AND CALL IT A DAY” ??

Well, it’s too late. All the vendors have my our hard earned money in which they will help us put on this fun event that no one will remember, except us. I guess that’s the point.

If anything, the wedding planning process (as painful as it was for me, the Anti-Bride) and the impending marriage itself, has shown me that I will be eating my own words for decades to come.

There’s that silver lining!

(please note that I am actually happy to be getting married)